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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
mfs:
… lickystickypicky is out of control today!!! i guess she incarnated a dj or something and she is kicking asses. she is not running a blog. she is running a radio station. and a very good one!!!
My exact feelings. At least 5-6 posts every hour? Wow.
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
They are mad. They die.
Pass the shepherd’s pie, please.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship both of them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
There are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute…
1. “I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.”
2. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
3. “Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”
4. “if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way”
5. “When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.”
6. “I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”
7. “All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.”
8. “But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.”
9. “I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!”
10. “Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
My boy just sent this. I love him.
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too...